2017.06.05 – 2017.06.09
這週上健康課,講到和別人說話要有禮貌。這時有學生說,她跟爺爺說話時都不用敬語(可能想表達和爺爺的關係像朋友),可是他後面接一句,所以我可以不用禮貌地說話(也許他想表達他不用對人「客氣」)。這時我想起有些人說「做自己,不須阿諛人」之類的話。老實說,我認為這是屁話,做自己就可以不用顧慮別人的感受?有些人說話是直了點,但直話是造就人的嗎?很多人扭曲直話的定義,認為想到就說是直話敢言,而且還有很多人效仿。演變成許多人說話很沒禮貌。沒禮貌和實話直說完全被混為一談,我給學生兩段對話
對話一
A:你今天穿拖鞋很不合適。
B:為什麼?
A:正是聚會不應該穿拖鞋,看起來很隨便。應該穿皮鞋或休閒鞋比較恰當。
對話二
C:你穿這拖鞋很醜,很不好看。
B:為什麼?
C:還問為什麼?你的審美觀這麼差嗎?哪有人襯衫長褲配拖鞋。
兩段對話,A和C實話直說,並且告訴B穿這樣不好看的原因。雖然C也有回答B不好看的原因,卻沒有說到重點,而且對B來說,C的言語只有汙辱和對他品味的批判。也許C跟B都是好朋友,但我認為朋友跟朋友說話還是要有禮,不然這種直言卻沒重點的言語只會降低人的素質。且帶來的結果不是有益的,只會帶出關係越來越多的傷害。
跟學生說了這麼多,只希望他們能了解,在此也和大家共勉之。
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